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August 31, 2016

extracurricular activities...

Usually when I use the phrase "extracurricular activities" I am referring to someone's drug usage. However, in this case I am actually talking about what the rest of you are probably already thinking: activities after school for your children. I just have one simple little question... How in the hell do you do it all!?

We have literally JUST started with soccer and I'm already flailing around like a crazy person turning into a momster to get to practice, team pictures, games, school, and actually get homework done every day.

There is practice once a week and on those days I have to leave work early to pick up my kid from school, he has to change in the car, I have to pry on his shinguards and cleats at the park, in order for him to run around, do somersaults on the grass, and be interested in anything and everything except the sport he begged to play for the last 4 months. I overheard one of the moms stating that her kids just came from swim class too. So they go from school, to swim, to soccer, and then how do they even function when they get home? It's making my head spin just thinking about it.

Once practice is over all the kids rush the playground like that's the main reason they joined soccer in the first place. If I had known that the sport of soccer was just for the easy access to the playground, I would have skipped spending the hundreds of dollars and just taken my kid to the nearby jungle gym once a week for the next 12 weeks.

After that we have to go pick up food because there definitely isn't any time to cook food now that it's 6:45pm. We get home at about 7pm - 7:15pm, and I'm sorry, but I try to have my kid in bed by 7:30 or else I'm dealing with a demon possessed child the following day. So somehow within 15-30 minutes we have to eat, bathe, AND do homework. Let's just say it never happens and I'm going to let you know up front, we definitely didn't do homework this week after soccer. I am fully expecting to receive a note home from his teacher, which I will gladly ignore or write some sweet response stating "oopsies, my bad, I forgot!"

Then there are the games. First, I don't know why I didn't think about this beforehand, but now I can't make plans for like the next 3 months on Saturday. I really wasn't thinking ahead when I said yes to tying up all my Saturdays to watch my kid half-ass play and whole-heartedly complain about soccer every Saturday morning.

All the games are scheduled at one place that clearly was not designed to house hundreds of amateur soccer fans because the parking is atrocious. I basically got my morning 2 mile walk in from having to park so far away. Thank God, I'm not put together enough to have brought a chair with me because then I would have had to carry that too. Then you have to find the right field that your child is on with  the arbitrary field number they give you. Unless someone has actually placed numbers on these fields then please don't give me a number like I am supposed to know what that means. In the sea of children, we finally spot the bright yellow and black cladded children on the complete far end and keep on with our morning exercise and truck-on over there.

Once the actual game started, I am not going to lie, it was pretty dang cute. My child decided, though, that he was going to play goalie even though it was made very clear that there are no goalies. He was also determined his team was going to win when it was also made very clear they were not keeping count of the goals and there are no winners (lame). Don't worry, I kept count of the goals and his team definitely won (yes, I'm THAT mom). He also got distracted a half dozen different times by his personal cheer-leading squad on the sidelines as well as the dragonflies that flew throughout the field. I will admit that all in all I think it was a successful first game. However, I might need to bring my sippy cup of wine for the week that I've signed up to be snack-mom.

Basically, I've concluded that I need to with the lottery so that I can be a stay at home mom because that's the only way to successfully get everything done in a day [ to be honest, i probably still wouldn't get it all done ]. Also, you should know that I'm a crazy person because after all this bitching, I'm still looking to sign my kid up for club soccer so that we can double up on our soccer practices and games every single week.



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