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January 25, 2017

Bio...

I thought you all might want to know a little more about myself and also why I don't post pictures of myself or anything too identifying. Maybe you don't though. Either way I'm going to tell you.


Does anyone else instantly have that Adele song stuck in their head? #sorrynotsorry


First, if you haven't noticed I try to keep my face and location pretty low-key on Instagram, my blog, Facebook, etc. There are many reasons for this, but I'm sure you don't have time for me to ramble, so I'll summarize:

1] I wanted to experiment. Can I actually get followers based on my absolutely hilarious quips and stories and not just my gorgeous face [ i'm kidding...kind of ]

2] I don't want my friends and family to accidentally come across my Instagram with all the "people you may know," and explore page bullshit.

3] I have an ex/baby daddy/someone I don't need all up in my business

4] This isn't tinder. Why are guys always trying to slide into women's DM's? I just figured that less pictures = less chance of creepy messages

5] Most Important: I wanted to create something that was just for me. It's a fun side project, if you will. I don't want to worry about someone bringing it up to me in conversation. I don't want to hear about how I cuss too much. I don't want to hear about how I'm offending someone. I don't want to hear anyone's opinions because they just don't matter to me.
FUN FACT: only two people I know personally know about this account and that's already too many


I'm not really certain IF you guys want to know anything about me. Maybe you're just like "eh, I don't give a shit, just post funny crap and I'll like it." Don't worry, I sometimes feel that way too.
I also don't know WHAT you guys want to actually know, so if I don't cover it in this post then just ask below and maybe I will answer...and maybe I won't because I'm just kind of a bitch like that.

1] I am a mom to one stubborn, strong headed, absolutely crazy, 6 year old little boy
2] I am a single mom. 2a] that phrase makes me cringe.
3] I am 28 years old. You can do the math on when I got knocked up.
4] I prefer to make up my own hashtags that are funny instead of popular
5] I started #HOTMESSMOM because I figured my life was such a shit show, maybe other people would like to laugh at me too
6] I'm horrible at posting consistently [if you haven't already noticed]. I'll try to get better...or maybe not. Just being honest.
7] I have a full time job so adding #HOTMESSMOM is literally just adding something to the never-ending list of things to do. I'm not sure what the hell I was thinking.
8] I like to cuss...a lot. I have a really hard time holding back and I will only semi-try if in front of someone else's kids. My poor child is accustomed to it by now. [My child does not cuss. I know you were wondering]
9] I don't drink coffee...I'll let that sink in for a sec...Okay, you good? Even though I'm not a coffee drinker, I am a heavy caffeine drinker. I just fill the coffee void with Red Bull, Diet Coke, Starbucks Chai Tea, V8 Energy Fusion...literally anything except coffee. If I could I would, and often times I've tried, to survive on caffeine alone.
10] I live in California. So for those of you who have messaged me wanting to meet up, if you're not in that state then I'm sorry. We can still be friends though :)
FUN FACT: Only one of my followers has figured out the actual city that I live in. I've sworn her to secrecy [just kidding...kind of]

I'll leave you with this little bonus:

FUNNY FACT: Someone messaged me a while back assuming that the reason I don't show my face on Instagram/Social Media is because I have horrible acne and I'm too self conscious. [hahahahahaha] They also tried to sell me something to help. It was sweet, but completely wrong. I just thought it was hilarious that was her first conclusion.
11] I do have a personal Instagram account where I do post pictures of my face because, I mean, who doesn't love a good selfie.

Ask me questions and I might share more with you


xx,

#HOTMESSMOM

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