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October 2, 2017

vegas is all of us

[ Pray for Vegas. Pray for all of us. ]

This isn't the first mass shooting, and as awful as it sounds, this won't be the last. This is just the first time it's been so close to home and close to the heart.

Every single person I know has been to Vegas. I, personally, have been there so many times from when I was a kid to now for so many different events, celebrations, and vacations. Vegas is the traditional place to celebrate your 21st birthday or your last days as a single man or woman. Vegas is the home of many major sporting events. Vegas is the place you go to have fun, a quick weekend getaway from your kids, a place to let loose and make some bad decisions. Vegas is all of us.

On Friday evening I was out to dinner with a friend and we were talking about how we wish we had gone to Route 91. We briefly contemplated making a spontaneous trip there. My son was at his Dad's and I was a free mama this past weekend! I could have just driven to Vegas in 3 hours and been back no problem. On Sunday afternoon I was talking to my sister in law and we were discussing how much we love going to Vegas and the last time we were there together. I told her if I ever get married, you make sure we go to Vegas for my bachelorette party. This was just a few hours before the shooting.

It upsets me so much thinking about all the college kids who were probably there. They're in college just going out to have fun and enjoy some country music, have some beer, and dance. They're not supposed to have to worry about this. Their families are not supposed to have to worry about THIS. As a mom, it's just like let's add another thing to the list of worries I have when it comes to my child. I worry about him breaking his arm on the play ground. I worry about him being kidnapped because he has zero fear of strangers. I worry about him turning into an asshole when he gets older. I worry about his health. Now I have to worry about him being shot by some maniac when he's out with his friends?

I cannot get over this. I can't move past it yet. I have messaged everyone I could think of who was there, who lives there, who could have possibly been there based on them being there in the past or loving country music. I don't care who you are, I want you to be able to go home safe. I have messaged my friends who frequent Vegas often. We live in SoCal, so a trip to Vegas is like nothing to most of us. I have messaged those who I care about and just let them know. I feel compelled to make sure that regardless of how trivial you may think it is,  regardless if you don't want to know or care to know, I want you to know I love you and I'm glad you're in my life.

I thank God that those who are closest to me are safe. But my heart hurts so bad for those who are hurt, those who didn't make it, and those who are still missing.

Now I am determined to turn the focus from fear, from sadness, to gratefulness. I am so grateful to all first responders. They have to run into the line of fire to protect you so that you may run away from it. Thank an EMT, a police officer, a fire fighter, anyone who puts their life on the line to try and protect you, your family, your friends.

I will not live in fear, but I may think twice the next time I start planning a trip to Vegas.



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