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June 17, 2018

Social Media: It's not me, it's you.

I'm not even exaggerating. Taking a break from social media is really, really HARD.

I deleted my Instagram app, Facebook app, twitter app, snapchat, google+ and google hangout app from my phone today.

I've noticed my anxiety has been at an all time high lately. I feel like my emotions are being triggered by the tiniest of things: songs, memes, pictures, comments etc. I'm constantly having to try and hold back tears. I know there is some correlation, but how much? I'm unsure. All I know is that I feel like I'm spiraling emotionally and so I had to do something.

Okay, so I wouldn't say I have gone cold turkey because I've literally already checked my Instagram 5 times from their website version since 6pm today. This does limit what you can see and the ease of everything. Also, you have zero access to any sort of messaging, which is probably good for me. I keep opening my phone to check my Instagram and then remember that i deleted it and have zero reason to be on my phone at that then I put it down.

This habit is going to be hard to break.

Instagram, I've let it control my life. Everything is so thought out. The time of the posts, the captions, the messages, and of course the stories and added stickers to go along with it. It has also somehow taken over as a main source of communication for me. My friends message me on there, potential dates, connections, businesses etc. So now that I don't have Instagram, there are legitimately a handful of people who message me almost daily, but don't even have my actual cell phone number. Simply because they have never asked. That's how much we rely on this app. They don't even feel a need or desire to have my physical number because I can be easily accessed through Instagram. At what point did we get here?

I knew this would be hard, and well, if you're avoiding doing something just because it's going to be hard to do, then it probably means you need to do it.

Facebook on the other hand has already become almost completely obsolete already. I have moved my Facebook app previously to the back and not the main page of my apps pages. I'm also almost always logged out of Facebook completely so that I don't receive notifications. So deleting the app really wasn't a huge step for me.

Snapchat was a piece of cake as well. I don't even enjoy getting snaps from anyone anymore. If you send me a snap, i won't watch it for daaaaayyyysss. So why did I still have it? Just in case...just in case for what, I have zero fucking clue, but just in case.

I don't have a set time frame of when I'll download Instagram or any of the other apps again. I already have the itch. BAD. I'm dying to see if anyone has messaged me. But I told myself I was going to hold out for at least a week. Instead, when I'm bored, I am going to try and replace my need to sit and veg. out on instagram stories, cute baby pics, funny puppy videos and relatable memes, and be productive.

wish me luck. i'm definitely going to need it.



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